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Fright Of Our Lives – Phobias of the Modern World

27 Aug

We are, it seems, a nation of nomophobes.

phone-userThat doesn’t mean we are all now scared of garden ornaments – but that most of us are terrified of being without our mobile phones. According to a new study more than half of Brits suffer from nomophobia – an abbreviation of no-mobile-phone-phobia. But it’s not the only phobia to have been caused by, or worsened by, the pressures of modern living.

Let’s take a tongue-in-cheek look at some other fears and phobias that can be blamed on our 21st-century lives…and how to avoid them.

ANTEFAMAPHOBIA

The fear that people were talking about you but stopped as you entered the room.

An occupational hazard for many bosses…and those who overdo it at the office Christmas party.

AGMENOPHOBIA

The fear that the queue you join will be slower than the other one.

It might be the post office or the airport check-in. But for some people the Sod’s Law of queueing can become a real phobia. Try employing a “queue dummy” – a friend who stands in the other line, just in case.

ANCRAOPHOBIA

Fear of wind.

Apt to affect teenagers returning to school who have spent the entire summer holiday inside playing on their X-boxes. Also known to strike users of particularly violent washroom hand-dryers.

CHOROPHOBIA

Fear of dancing.

Teenagers forced to go to wedding receptions with their dads have been recognised sufferers for many years. But the rise of Youtube-inspired Flashmob routines in shopping centres and railway stations is raising the incidence rate.

ALLODOXAPHOBIA

Fear of opinions.

According to experts it is “associated with previous encounters wherein the person affected has not been able to properly express their opinion” – ie likely to affect previous members of Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet or anyone working for Simon Cowell.

NuclearBlastATOMOSOPHOBIA

Fear of atomic explosions.

Seems perfectly rational to me…..

NUCLEOMITUPHOBIA

Fear of nuclear weapons.

Ditto…

ARACHIBUTYROPHOBIA

Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth (yes, really).

Don’t eat it. Or smear it on your hips. It’s going to end up there anyway.

EDITIOVULTAPHOBIC

Taken from the Latin words for ‘face’ and ‘book’ it means . . . fear of Facebook.

Or just a fear of having every aspect of your life lived in front of “friends” you’ve never met or would ever want to meet.

CARBOPHOBIA

Fear of carbohydrates.

Once affected only the most obsessive devotes of Mr Atkins and his diet. Now becoming worryingly prevalent among fans of TOWIE taking regular holidays to Marbella who live by the motto ‘No carbs before Marbs’.

CATAGELOPHOBOA

Fear of being ridiculed.

Easily prevented. Don’t audition for Britain’s Got Talent.

CENOPHOBIA

Fear of empty rooms.

Also easily prevented. Don’t come third in X Factor and still insist on pursuing the dream.

AEDIFICATORPHOBIA

Fear of builders.

First identified among home owners in the 1970s conservatory era. Now considered an essential defence mechanism.

chopsticksCONSECOTALEOPHOBIA

Fear of chopsticks.

Use a fork, stupid. Or have crispy duck pancakes. Or go for an Indian.

CHLOROPHOBIA

Fear of the colour green.

Likely to affect GM crop producers, EU fishermen and anyone employed in the oil industry.

CYBERPHOBIA

Fear of computers.

A great excuse for not paying bills, or wasting time watching cat videos.

POLITICOPHOBIA

Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.

Just why, exactly, is this a phobia?

EUPHOBIA

Fear of good news.

Afflicts leaders of opposition parties when poll results and economic figures are released.

bellybuttonOMPHALOPHOBIA

Fear of bellybuttons.

This surprisingly common phobia has been rising steadily since boob tubes and crop tops took over from tank tops and polo-necks as fashion must-haves.

CHRYSOPHOBIA

Fear of the colour orange.

Get another mobile phone network and do not get yourself arrested in the USA. Worst for detainees of Guantanamo Bay.

SPACEPHOBIA

Fear of outer space.

Tell your loved ones not to buy you vouchers for Virgin Galactic for Christmas.

ANUPTAPHOBIA

Fear of staying single.

No brainer. Try internet dating.

DOMATOPHOBIA

Fear of houses or being in a house.

Do not watch Big Brother or Celebrity Big Brother. Same advice applies for non-domataophobes.

KAINOLOPHOBIA

Fear of anything new.

The only explanation for Jim Davidson’s stand-up routine.

CHRONOPHOBIA

Fear of time moving forward.

Doctor Who fans need not worry.

MACROPHOBIA

Fear of long waits.

Linked to the rise in call centres and telephone banking.

HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPPEDALIOPHOBIA

Fear of long words.

A growing problem among the text generation, IMHO.

RETTEROPHOBIA

Fear of wrongly chosen letters.

Growing problem among the would-be text generation. LOL, Mr Cameron.

DEIPNOPHOBIA

Fear of dining or dinner party conversations.

Entirely due to popularity of Come Dine With Me.

GarlicALLIUMPHOBIA

The abnormal fear of garlic.

Ditto…

RHYTIPHOBIA

Fear of getting wrinkles.

The rise in the number of sufferers has an uncanny correllation to the popularity of Botox injections,

SYMBOLOPHOBIA

Fear of symbolism.

Blame Dan Brown.

IPOVLOPSYCHOPHOBIA

Fear of having one’s photograph taken.

Does not affect stars of reality TV shows or Lady GaGa.

KLISMAPHOBIA

Fear of enemas.

No good was ever going to come of extreme detox TV shows.

EDITOPHOBIA

Fear of being edited or deleted.

I have this.

PHOBOPHOBIA

Fear of phobias.

I’m afraid you’re on your own with this one…..

 

Source: Rachael Bletchly – Daily Mirror
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Posted by on August 27, 2013 in Random

 

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