My name is Paul Bowscar, I’m fifteen years old, and I love my family. If you don’t believe anything else, you’d better believe that. My family are my world.
Confession is good for the soul, right? I hope so, my soul could do with all the goodness it can get right now. And this is a confession, after all. Of sorts. Me sitting here telling you what happened, that’s a confession. My confession.
Not about Jimmy falling out of the tree, not that. I still feel bad about that, still have days when I blame myself. But that was just a shitty accident. Just one of the millions of bad things that happen to millions of good people every day.
No, the true confession is the part where I tell you about the things I did after the Jimster’s accident. Those things… they need to be told. I did them for all the right reasons though! Let’s just get that straight right from the start. I’m not a bad person. I’m not, I’m really not. I’m a nice guy, I was brought up right, and I did what I did because I’m that nice guy who was brought up right.
It’d be easy as anything to just list everything and say “yeah, that was me, I did that, and that, and that…”, but what would be the point? Yeah, you’d know what’d happened, and who was responsible for it. Big deal. What you wouldn’t know was the why. The why of it is the important thing. The why of it proves the things I did were done for all the right reasons.
The why of it is the negative bind for my soul, and it’s the only thing that keeps it free.
So this is my confession. This is where I tell the why of everything
This is my negative bind.
— extract from ‘The Negative Bind’, coming soon —