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Run, Horace, run…

13 Aug

Music time! Get your platforms and flares on, we’re off to the discotheque, baby! Not really, I’m not that old. Maybe.

Anyway…

I had to head into town earlier today to get some stuff. Life would be so much easier if we didn’t need so much stuff, don’t you think? Stuff to eat, stuff to drink, stuff to wear, stuff to clean with, even stuff to entertain us when we’re tired of all the other stuff. Stuff, stuff, stuff. But I digress. It was a beautiful day out there, so I decided to walk. Dusted off the old MP3 player, found my headphones, wired myself up for sound, and off I went into the wild blue yonder.

Various artists came and went in my ears as I bounced along to their individual beats. Springsteen told me about the Glory Days. The Foo Fighters told me they’d been waiting Everlong. Meat Loaf reckoned two out of three wasn’t all that bad, while Bon Jovi insisted you give love a bad name. You bad thing you.

ELOAnd then Electric Light Orchestra came on – those Brummie, feel good, symphonic, almost rock gods of the 70’s and 80’s, telling me the story of Horace, in the catchy tune The Diary of Horace Wimp. For those of you who don’t know the song – and I’m willing to bet that’s the majority of you – it tells the story, funnily enough, of one Horace Wimp. In the words of Jeff Lynne (ELO’s main man), it’s “a song about a lucky lad who somehow defies the odds and gets the girl. Really wild use of the vocoder.”

The song covers a week in the life of Horace – a repressed and timid man who overcomes his shy nature with the help of “a voice from above”. The week begins on Monday, and Horace is late for work. Again. On Tuesday he’s feeling lonely and down, and his boss has obviously given him a final warning for his lateness. Things begin to look up on Wednesday, as Horace meets a girl and falls instantly in love. Thursday rolls around. Horace takes a deep breath and asks the girl out. She says yes. YES! He shoots, he scores! Finally Friday, and it’s a BIG day. Horace asks the girl to marry him, and when she agrees, Horace is so happy he cries! Straight on to Sunday (Saturday is missed out as, according to Jeff Lynne, it’s football day). Sunday is a bigger day than Friday, as Horace and the girl get married, for the rest of their lives.

Yey! A happy ending! Way to go Horace!

But is it really such a happy ending? Are things really going to be all sweetness and light for the rest of Horace’s natural? Below are the lyrics for The Diary of Horace Wimp. Take a read.

Monday (Monday)

Late again today
He’d be in trouble, though he’d say he was sorry
He’d have to hurry out to the bus

Tuesday (Tuesday)

Horace was so sad
He’d never had a girl that he could care for
And if he was late once more
He’d be out, uh-oh

Don’t be afraid, just knock on the door
Well, he just stood there mumblin’ a-fumblin’
Then a voice from above
Said, “Horace Wimp, this is your life
Go out and find yourself a wife
(Come on, Horace)
Make a stand and be a man
And you will have a great life planned!”
(You can do it
Come on, Horace)

Wednesday

Horace met the girl
She was small and she was very pretty
He thought he was in love
He was afraid, uh oh

Thursday

Asked her for a date
The café down the street, tomorrow evening
His head was reeling
When she said, “Yes, okay”

Don’t be afraid, just knock on the door
Well, he just stood there mumblin’ a-fumblin’
Then a voice from above
Said, “Horace Wimp, this is your life
Go out and find yourself a wife
(Come on, Horace),
Make a stand and be a man
And you will have a great life planned!”
(You can do it.
Come on, Horace)

Friday

Horace, this is it!
He asks the girl if maybe they could marry
When she says “Gladly”
Horace cries, boo hoo

Sunday

Everybody’s at the church
When Horace rushes in
And says, “Now here comes my wife
For the rest of my life”
And she did

Don’t be afraid, just knock on the door
Well, he just stood there mumblin’ and fumblin’
Then a voice from above
Said, “Horace Wimp, this is your wife
Go out and find yourself a life
(Come on, Horace)
Make a stand and be a man
And you will have a great life planned!”
(Horace Wimp)

A nice, happy song. You’d think. But look again at the final chorus. The “voice from above” which, up until then, had guided Horace through the week and into a married life with the girl, speaks again. But this time… ohh, this time! That voice has turned from friendly and helpful into the shrill, demanding voice of a nagging wife! “Horace! This is your wife! Pay attention! Get out and get a life! Make a stand, Horace! Be a man, for God’s sake!”

Or maybe it’s just me…

Anyway, it’s a nice, bouncy song for a nice, sunny day. You can take a listen on YouTube here.

As always, that shallot…

Laters…

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Posted by on August 13, 2015 in Music

 

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